You must know/have met one person or two who lost someone special at some point in their life.
Maybe that friend that lost his father or the friend that lost her sister or even the one that lost her boyfriend.
It’s really not easy. Loss is not a good thing and managing it isn’t always easy.
In the past, I have been around people grieving and I worsened their case with my words. Of course, I thought I was helping. I really wasn’t.
We are in a period where so many things are happening. People are dying, people are losing properties and all that. We cannot afford to make matters worse. Also, we cannot afford to act like we don’t care just because we don’t know how to act. That’s why I’ve put together these tips.
5 Ways to Help Someone who is Grieving
1. Pray for them– If you think I love prayers too much, you are very right! I cannot overemphasize the power of prayers, I really cannot. God answers prayers. Pray to Him to comfort them, to see them through what they are passing through.
Then you will call to me. You will come and pray to me, and I will answer you.Jeremiah 29:12 (GNT)
2. Do not tell them how to grieve– Understand that people grieve differently. Do not expect them to grieve a particular way. Please don’t! All those “don’t cry”, “stop remembering those things” yen yen yen. Please stop it. If they want to cry, let them cry. If you think they’ve cried too much and it may give them a headache, put one sleeping pill inside chivita and make them drink it (hahaha). Please don’t tell them to be strong. Don’t!
3. Play with them- If you can, please play with them. Try to liven their mood. If they bring up funny memories of the person they lost, laugh with them. Hold their hands and just laugh with them. Ask them if they want to take a stroll.
4. Listen to them- Don’t do all the talking especially if they want to talk. Allow them and please don’t try to correct any statement they make. “You are wrong! You shouldn’t have made that statement” Please are you there to be a teacher or you’re there to make them feel better? Also you don’t have to respond, be comfortable with silence. Be comfortable with just squeezing their hands or giving them hugs.
5. Pay Attention to Suicide Hints- This is quite important. If this person keeps dropping subtle hints at suicide, do not overlook it. Avoid saying “don’t kill yourself oo” or “Do you want to go to hell?” This is the time to stay there. Stay with them. Keep praying over them. Remind them how amazing they are. Seek help. Make sure they are not left alone.
Things to Avoid Saying.
- Eeyah. (What! How can you say Eeyah? Eeyah that what? Please don’t.)
- Don’t think, try to move on.
- It’s God’s plan (Please stop.)
- I think you are overreacting (Don’t be shocked if they slap you)
Have you ever lost someone? Was there someone who made you feel better? What did he/she do? Please let me know in the comment section.